In my last article, I talked about how negative thought patterns create ruts in our brains that cause us to automatically “go there” when triggered. I then showed how to rewire our brains and take control of those thoughts. In Part Two, I’m going to take you one step further and show you how practicing gratitude actually creates joy.
Read MoreJoy is the ingredient that causes us to celebrate the happy events of life. Joy is also needed to bear the disappointment, heartache, loss, and traumas of life. Without joy my life is a flat line at best. Raising 5 adopted children, and then teaching emotionally handicapped students for 15 years contributed to my drive to overcome dysfunction and move toward a more joy-filled life.
Read MoreMy sister is a trauma specialist and I’ve learned a lot from her that helps me to be more compassionate and less judgmental. One of the things she’s taught me is how our brains develop ruts—deep fissures of memory when something traumatic occurs. She says that when this happens it is nearly impossible for someone on their own to get out of those deep ditches and create new healthy paths.
Read MoreA threadbare, aqua-colored polka-dot apron. A faded movie theater ticket stub for Avatar in 3D. Two cotton rope bracelets. A program for a multi-day jazz festival. A small suede drawstring handbag with fringe on it.
What do all these things have in common? These items were found when I embarked on a house-wide reorganization/de-cluttering extravaganza. And upon the exhumation of each treasure from its cardboard- box coffin in the Land of Forgotten Stuff --- a/k/a the spare bedroom closet --- I became suffused with joy upon remembering the thing or event it represented:
Read MoreSometimes adulting is downright exhausting. It seems that everyone expects something from you. Your boss expects production. Your spouse expects devotion. Your kids expect provision. Friends expect participation.
We get so overwhelmed with trying to be everything to everyone. We are pressured to be the best at everything we do, to be multi-tasking superstars.
Read More“You were made to feel the warmth of joy.”
Sounds like a God promise, doesn’t it?
No. Disney.
That’s right, even the “happiest place on earth” says you deserve to feel joy. And if you spend the day there, you’re likely to experience some of that joy Disney promises. But what about all the days when you don’t?
Read MoreYou’ve probably heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Recently, I was pondering: what do joyful people eat every day? I don’t mean food, but rather what do they do that maybe the rest of us could do that would produce more joy in our lives?
So I did a little research and asked several of the most joyful people I knew about their routines. And I found that there were indeed several things joyful people did: Most exercised and most ate a healthy breakfast. Most woke up early, “before the roosters” as my grandmother would say. And almost all of them credited their faith for their joy.
But there were three things that everyone did—three simple things that were on every joy-filled person’s morning routine list. What are they? Here they are . . .
Read MoreThe phrase “Laughter is the best medicine” is a widely used old Proverb. Did you know that this phrase actually originated back in biblical times and has been quoted for hundreds of years? That’s because it is so very true! The joy and healing that come from laughter are an incredibly amazing phenomena that affect your body, mind, spirit and so many other areas of your life!
Read MoreWhen life becomes a problem to be solved, you know you took a detour!
I think we can all agree that life brings many problems or, if you prefer, challenges. Tragedy, hardship, loss, and illness can produce anxiety, fear, depression, and many other negative emotions. These problems can leave us overwhelmed and unable to bounce back to a life of emotional balance.
Much of my life was invested in attempting to solve problems. You might ask, “How’s that working for you?” Well, sometimes it works, but not as a lifestyle. Why doesn’t focusing on solving problems work very well for us as a long-term strategy?
Read MoreA few years ago, my wife and I were in the front yard of our very first (and current) home. Having moved only a year before to the great state of Florida, home to beaches and theme parks and retired people with golf carts, we stood in awe and gratitude, taking in the moment, with our kids running around the front lawn and the sun setting over the nearby lake and a silver-haired gentleman riding his bike down the sidewalk.
Life was good, but something was missing. At least, according to my wife.
Read MoreAghast. Dismayed. Incredulous. Emotions assail me. I have discovered ---through incontrovertible evidence --- that my husband is not who I thought he was. Oh yes, we’ve had many Venus vs. Mars moments over the years… but this. THIS! How can I have lived thirty-three years with someone and not known, not even suspected, that there were heathenish tendencies, Philistine-like attributes lurking right there underneath that suave demeanor and handsome façade?
Read MoreSpringtime is one of my most favorite times of the year because of flowers. I don’t have a favorite flower. I love all things that flower—trees, shrubs, annuals, perennials—you name it. If it flowers, I love it.
The Project
For the past month, I’ve been working in the garden. A neighbor down the street offered mulch if we’d come to get it from her driveway. Free mulch? Yes!! But that meant we had to first prepare the beds by removing weeds and cutting back the plants bitten by the cold … and then wheelbarrow loads of mulch from her house six houses away to our home. What a job.
After the project was done, I sat on my porch with my iced tea and thought about that familiar saying, “April showers bring May flowers.” The bed looked so pretty with the new mulch, but my azaleas, hydrangeas, orchids, and gardenias weren’t blooming yet. That would take time, plus warmer temperatures, rain, and longer days.
Read MoreMy new (well, continuing) aspirational goal is to achieve serenity. If not actual serenity, at least a modicum of equanimity. You see, the stress of life seems to be ratcheting up and, more than ever, I feel compelled to resist being drawn into the angst that appears to be the theme of our culture’s current existence.
I have analyzed how attempts to experience joy often get thwarted and I arrived at three things that --- at least for me --- are the main culprits: Disorganization, the Need For Control, and IMPATIENCE.
Read MoreI am a complete sucker for a fresh start and the new year is like bread from heaven to me. However, I don't even need it to be January 1st for hope to rise up and to say that “THIS IS OUR YEAR!"
Read MoreMore than a few years ago, a close friend recognized that I was not very accomplished at celebrating myself. I didn’t even know how to plan ahead for how to celebrate my birthday. Now you may be great at that … but there are many people who aren’t. So here’s what my friend did…
Read MoreHas life seemed to drag? Has 2022 got you struggling and feeling sluggish? Are you ready to escape all those nagging things that are gumming up your journey? Want to have a sleek 2023? Me, too!
Read MoreIt’s all Norman Rockwell’s fault.
A huge fan of his paintings, I totally blame him for my life’s expectations… unrealistic as they may be. Especially during the holidays. Who doesn’t want that Home for Christmas scene Rockwell depicts? The citizens of Stockbridge, Massachusetts strolling down Kinkade-like lit streets, effortlessly pulling perfect Christmas trees behind them. I can practically hear the occasional, “Evening, Ma’am” from the folks as they pass each other on the street.
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Christmas is coming! It’s time to deck the halls and dance your favorite reindeer dance! I love celebrating the birth of our Savior, but I also treasure all the fun that Christmas traditions bring. I’ve always believed Christmas and traditions go hand in hand, so I’d like to share some that make our holidays so special.
Read MoreThe surgeon’s face told us the news wasn’t good. My stepfather’s brain surgery had taken longer than anticipated and now we gathered to hear the results. The doctor was matter of fact. I assume there is no good way to share this kind of news. No doubt he spoke complete sentences, but all we heard were the words that pierced our hearts—brain cancer. Terminal. Six to nine months to live. When he finished, the doctor said he was sorry, and then left the room. Then my mother burst into tears. My sister and I cradled her as she went through a series of emotions. Anger—she raged at God. Questions—why him and not her? Denial—this was not happening.
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