How to Rewire your Brain for Joyfulness

My sister is a trauma specialist and I’ve learned a lot from her that helps me to be more compassionate and less judgmental. One of the things she’s taught me is how our brains develop ruts—deep fissures of memory when something traumatic occurs. She says that when this happens it is nearly impossible for someone on their own to get out of those deep ditches and create new healthy paths.

Thinking Patterns Develop Into Ruts

In writing for Joyopolis over the years, I’ve come to see the process of claiming and living a joy-filled life in much the same way as the clients my sister counsels. Some of us may have trauma in our past, or we may have learned some negative thinking patterns from our families or those we are around. These thinking patterns have developed deep ruts in our brains.

Let me give an example. When someone asks how you are doing, how do you respond? If life is throwing darts at you, and this backs up what you’ve always experienced in life, you might be prone to begin explaining how lousy life is. And you’d be right. Because your brain took you right into that rut, and when you are in that rut and it rains, things get muddier.

That’s right. You get more of what you don’t want. So how can you change that? What if you could change that pathway by changing the direction of the thought?

Getting Out of the Mud

Let’s say your life has been very hard and right now nothing is going well --- and then someone asks how you are doing. Instead of wallowing in that mud, you decide you will answer differently. You say, “I’m great” or “I’m blessed.” You might be thinking I’m crazy right now. That’s not reality, you say. But I might ask, why is it not reality? Why can’t you be great, despite the circumstances in your life at this moment? Why can’t you claim your blessedness, even if you don’t feel it?

Here's another example. You have a co-worker or a family member that triggers you. They know just the right thing to say to send you into a tailspin. It is a constant action/reaction, and you end up in the same rut every time.

So the next time, rather than take the bait, determine that when this person says whatever it is that triggers you, instead of reacting, you simply smile. Then shake your head as you continue smiling and walk away.

One More Step to Seal the Deal

Now I’ve learned from my sister (and the Bible) that you can’t remove a bad habit or thought and not fill that space with something, or the devil will fill it with his cunning lies. First Peter 5:8 says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (NIV). The final step is to replace those thoughts with something good so the devil has no room to move.

Try saying a prayer of blessing for that person. Remember, wounded people wound people. Or, imagine they have an empty love tank that needs filling. When you imagine them as wounded or needy, you gain compassion. And the truth is, you can’t react negatively while also holding compassion in your heart. They are opposites.

Don’t Go It Alone

So, now that you’ve learned this, how does this change the way you see your brain, your trauma, or your negative thought patterns? Do you see the need to get out of a few ruts by creating new pathways in your brain? If so, you can’t do this work alone. Invite a friend to pray for you as you work on this important skill. And ask the Lord to help you see where you need new paths and how to rewire your brain for joyfulness. And if you need to see a counselor, there is no shame in it. We all need a little help from time to time.

One more tip…memorize this Scripture for when you want to wallow in that mud: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2 NIV).

Live mud-free

Identify a few ruts you return to again and again.

Who triggers you and how?

Choose one of the suggestions above to implement this week.

Cheri Cowell and her husband are opening rental treehouses in the Smokey Mountains of TN. Check them out at www.mytreehouseescape.com