Joy When The Unspeakable Happens
The surgeon’s face told us the news wasn’t good. My stepfather’s brain surgery had taken longer than anticipated and now we gathered to hear the results. The doctor was matter of fact. I assume there is no good way to share this kind of news. No doubt he spoke complete sentences, but all we heard were the words that pierced our hearts—brain cancer. Terminal. Six to nine months to live. When he finished, the doctor said he was sorry, and then left the room. Then my mother burst into tears. My sister and I cradled her as she went through a series of emotions. Anger—she raged at God. Questions—why him and not her? Denial—this was not happening.
Prayers
Eventually the grief our mother expressed eased, and her faith began to return … although weakened by what she’d been through. Always a stalwart of faith, she now said she wasn’t sure her faith was strong enough for this. I smiled through my own tears and said, “That’s okay, Mamma. My faith is strong enough for both of us.” Lord, help me have the faith I just professed, I prayed. Later when she expressed fear of having to tell her husband the news, I assured her I would do that. Lord, speak through me because I don’t know how to do this.
God’s Goodness
The next day, God was good and spoke through me the words David needed to hear. But God’s goodness was not limited to the comfort He gave my mother, nor the words He gave me to break the news to my stepfather. God’s goodness shone the brightest in David’s spirit when he heard the hard news. With tears running down his face, David said, “Cheri, I know when my time comes, I will take my last breath here and my next breath with Jesus.”
Over the next several days, David’s joy was palpable. Some feared he was in denial, but I knew this joy was a gift. David was not in denial. He was not ignoring reality; he was embracing it. David’s joy was not based in the world’s reality, but it was based in God’s reality. As I watched David over the coming month, I began to see a different view of ‘reality’. And I had a question…
Who determines reality?
Why is it that when someone views life’s struggles through a rose-colored lens --- why is that not reality? Could it not be that this joy-filled view is true reality?
Today, the family is embracing David’s reality, and this reality means we are enjoying every day. We are planning for a memory-making Thanksgiving and Christmas… in case it is our last. Yet, at the same time we are joyfully taking the view that if today is David’s last he will be just one breath away from Jesus.
Live Like You Were Dyin’
Tim McGraw released a song in 2013 titled Live Like You Were Dying, after his father passed away from a long battle with cancer. In it a man is asked what it was like when he got the news he didn’t have long to live. The man explains how he lived life to the fullest and then he says these words, "Some day I hope you get the chance to live like you were dyin'."
I don’t wish you to experience what we are currently dealing with, and I don’t wish you to necessarily live like you were dying. Although we are all only a second away from dying, if we truly think about it. But what I do pray you experience is the joy we have in knowing a different reality than what the world offers.
The World’s Reality vs God-Reality
The world’s reality is without hope, without a future, and without joy. God’s reality turns that hopelessness and futurelessness into a reality that is hope-filled, future-focused, and joy-filled. It isn’t denial of reality; it is a redefinition of reality. It is a world in which we choose to hold onto a God-reality that is not tied to this world.
What if you didn’t have to go through something horrific to live in this reality? What if you and I could live like this every day? I’m still pondering this thought. How could we practice this in daily life? It’s not that we deny the reality we live in day-to-day. Instead, we choose to see that reality through the lens of faith, hope, and joy. We choose to put on God-colored glasses that allow us to change our view from one that sees life from this reality, to one that sees it through the reality that says God has the last word. It says God holds our present and our future, and He can fill even the most difficult moments with joy unspeakable.
Who determines your definition of reality?
Listen to the Tim McGraw song and answer how you are choosing to live like you were dying.
How can you choose to see reality through God-colored glasses?
Cheri Cowell welcomes prayers for her stepfather, David, who is currently going through radiation and chemotherapy treatments while holding onto hope and joy.