In my last article, I talked about how negative thought patterns create ruts in our brains that cause us to automatically “go there” when triggered. I then showed how to rewire our brains and take control of those thoughts. In Part Two, I’m going to take you one step further and show you how practicing gratitude actually creates joy.
Read MoreMy sister is a trauma specialist and I’ve learned a lot from her that helps me to be more compassionate and less judgmental. One of the things she’s taught me is how our brains develop ruts—deep fissures of memory when something traumatic occurs. She says that when this happens it is nearly impossible for someone on their own to get out of those deep ditches and create new healthy paths.
Read MoreSometimes adulting is downright exhausting. It seems that everyone expects something from you. Your boss expects production. Your spouse expects devotion. Your kids expect provision. Friends expect participation.
We get so overwhelmed with trying to be everything to everyone. We are pressured to be the best at everything we do, to be multi-tasking superstars.
Read MoreThe phrase “Laughter is the best medicine” is a widely used old Proverb. Did you know that this phrase actually originated back in biblical times and has been quoted for hundreds of years? That’s because it is so very true! The joy and healing that come from laughter are an incredibly amazing phenomena that affect your body, mind, spirit and so many other areas of your life!
Read MoreWhen life becomes a problem to be solved, you know you took a detour!
I think we can all agree that life brings many problems or, if you prefer, challenges. Tragedy, hardship, loss, and illness can produce anxiety, fear, depression, and many other negative emotions. These problems can leave us overwhelmed and unable to bounce back to a life of emotional balance.
Much of my life was invested in attempting to solve problems. You might ask, “How’s that working for you?” Well, sometimes it works, but not as a lifestyle. Why doesn’t focusing on solving problems work very well for us as a long-term strategy?
Read MoreA few years ago, my wife and I were in the front yard of our very first (and current) home. Having moved only a year before to the great state of Florida, home to beaches and theme parks and retired people with golf carts, we stood in awe and gratitude, taking in the moment, with our kids running around the front lawn and the sun setting over the nearby lake and a silver-haired gentleman riding his bike down the sidewalk.
Life was good, but something was missing. At least, according to my wife.
Read MoreAghast. Dismayed. Incredulous. Emotions assail me. I have discovered ---through incontrovertible evidence --- that my husband is not who I thought he was. Oh yes, we’ve had many Venus vs. Mars moments over the years… but this. THIS! How can I have lived thirty-three years with someone and not known, not even suspected, that there were heathenish tendencies, Philistine-like attributes lurking right there underneath that suave demeanor and handsome façade?
Read MoreSpringtime is one of my most favorite times of the year because of flowers. I don’t have a favorite flower. I love all things that flower—trees, shrubs, annuals, perennials—you name it. If it flowers, I love it.
The Project
For the past month, I’ve been working in the garden. A neighbor down the street offered mulch if we’d come to get it from her driveway. Free mulch? Yes!! But that meant we had to first prepare the beds by removing weeds and cutting back the plants bitten by the cold … and then wheelbarrow loads of mulch from her house six houses away to our home. What a job.
After the project was done, I sat on my porch with my iced tea and thought about that familiar saying, “April showers bring May flowers.” The bed looked so pretty with the new mulch, but my azaleas, hydrangeas, orchids, and gardenias weren’t blooming yet. That would take time, plus warmer temperatures, rain, and longer days.
Read MoreMy new (well, continuing) aspirational goal is to achieve serenity. If not actual serenity, at least a modicum of equanimity. You see, the stress of life seems to be ratcheting up and, more than ever, I feel compelled to resist being drawn into the angst that appears to be the theme of our culture’s current existence.
I have analyzed how attempts to experience joy often get thwarted and I arrived at three things that --- at least for me --- are the main culprits: Disorganization, the Need For Control, and IMPATIENCE.
Read MoreI am a complete sucker for a fresh start and the new year is like bread from heaven to me. However, I don't even need it to be January 1st for hope to rise up and to say that “THIS IS OUR YEAR!"
Read MoreHas life seemed to drag? Has 2022 got you struggling and feeling sluggish? Are you ready to escape all those nagging things that are gumming up your journey? Want to have a sleek 2023? Me, too!
Read MoreIt’s all Norman Rockwell’s fault.
A huge fan of his paintings, I totally blame him for my life’s expectations… unrealistic as they may be. Especially during the holidays. Who doesn’t want that Home for Christmas scene Rockwell depicts? The citizens of Stockbridge, Massachusetts strolling down Kinkade-like lit streets, effortlessly pulling perfect Christmas trees behind them. I can practically hear the occasional, “Evening, Ma’am” from the folks as they pass each other on the street.
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One of my personal goals in life is to invest time and energy into building strategies for success when things are going well … so that when challenges come I am able to use these strategies with greater ease. If you’ve tried to insert a new habit into an already challenging situation you know what I mean.
Read MoreMy mystifying reality: I’m a mid-west gal who grew up surrounded by cornfields and dwelling with the Barcalounger people in their wood-paneled “rec rooms” a/k/a basements. How? Even as a child I always felt I was a fuchsia blossom exiled to a vast beige wasteland. These are not my people. However, thanks to a library annex that opened in our small hamlet, and a sympathetic librarian who informed me that I was not required to adhere to reading books for my grade level, I became an insatiable reader and enthusiastic learner. I wanted to know about lots of things, and I especially loved books about other cultures and how folks in far away places lived. My imagination soared.
Read MoreWhen I run out of fingers and toes, I have a serious problem. Math was never my area of giftedness. Creativity, reading, and writing are my strengths, so when the Scriptures tell us to “count it all joy,” I secretly cringe inside. I’m terrible at math!
This verse has bothered me for years: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds….” (James 1:2 NIV)
The idea of counting everything in life as an opportunity for joy seems over-the-top, pie-in-the-sky type thinking. You’d have to be blind not to see that life is not always joy-filled.
Read MoreFlapping. It’s actually flapping. For real. That clapping sound I hear as I vigorously comb out my long, wet hair is not my husband applauding my de-tangling technique. No, it now appears that my upper arm flab has become so, well, flabby, that it swings freely and contacts my body with every motion of my arm. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no.
Behold: yet another one of the indignities of old(er) age.
If you’re like me, you have now reached the stage of life when you have all the physical ailments and oddities that you used to make fun of about your mom or grandma. More pesky hairs on your chin rather than in your eyebrows? Check. Chicken-ish skin on the backs of your hands? Check. Unlovely varicose veins? Check. Saggy boobs*? Check. And on it goes. Yea, verily, I have had to repent of much.
Read MoreOnce there were five-year-old twin boys, one a pessimist and the other an optimist. Wondering how two boys who seemed so alike could be so different, their parents took them to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist took the pessimist to a room piled high with new toys, expecting the boy to be thrilled, but instead he burst into tears.
Puzzled, the psychiatrist asked, “Don’t you want to play with these toys?” “Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did, I’d only break them.”
Next the psychiatrist took the optimist to a room piled high with horse manure. The boy yelped with delight, clambered to the top of the pile, and joyfully dug out scoop after scoop, tossing the manure into the air with glee. “What on earth are you doing?” the psychiatrist asked.
“Well,” said the boy, beaming, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
Read MoreI had one of those looooooong days yesterday. A thirteen-hour workday—eleven hours at the office of my part-time job and almost two hours of commuting, with errand running on the back end. I was so exhausted that when I finally fell on the couch, I could barely remember the day at all. I knew I would be writing about how to find joy in the daily grind, but that seemed impossible at that moment.
Read MoreThese naturally occurring opioids are the body’s own painkillers. They work in conjunction with neurotransmitters to induce relief, happiness, or even euphoria when the body is in pain or overexerted.
Smiling can trick your brain into elevating your mood, lowering your heart rate, and reducing your stress.
In the novel Lunch in Paris, author Elizabeth Bard remarked on one of the reasons she loved her boyfriend and cherished their memorable times in that city: “He was still open to the magic of this place. I didn’t know a lot of people who were open to magic at all.”
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