How to Discover Joy on Life's Adventure
Six years ago I was having severe physical issues which lead to a cancer diagnosis. Stage three B, with a year of treatment. Almost immediately I decided that it would be an adventure. And what makes for a good adventure?
Companions
Leaving the place you know and are comfortable
Staying in some compromising places
Facing dragons and other dangerous things
Trekking with friends or foes, or sometimes alone
Hoping for a treasure or reward at the end
Realizing the journey has changed you
Not always making it to the end
In essence, adventures are amazing on paper or on the big screen. In real life? Not so much. Not always. But this is real and true life. Abundant life.
So I asked myself, at the beginning, how hard I was willing to fight to reach the treasure at the end. Was I willing to face the dragon and do all I could to win? For six years the answer has been yes, to do all I can, with my chosen (and sometimes happily found) companions, to win.
The Most Important Part of an Adventure
While I wouldn’t wish cancer on anyone ever, this has been the best six years of my life. People have unexpectedly come alongside me to love me and help. People have brought me chocolate and donuts. That’s perhaps the best part of this adventure.
Choosing my companions wisely has proven to be the most important part of my cancer adventure. I think it’s partly why I’ve already survived two years past the norm for my particular type of cancer. My husband and grown kids. Friends who’ve already faced this dragon. A good medical team. New friends along the way.
How does this apply to other adventures? We all face hardships. Whom have you chosen as your travel buddies? Who has chosen you? Are these people safe? I’ve had to jettison quite a few people because they weren’t encouraging. Or offered too much risky advice and were pushy about it.
Therapy and Jesus
The year before my diagnosis was spent in therapy (family drama and trauma). Had I not done that, my marriage may not have survived the cancer journey. Instead we find ourselves in a strong, transparent place. More in love than ever in our 30 years. I can’t recommend therapy enough.
And Jesus. He’s been the bedrock for me all along. Not in a kumbaya kind of way, but my relationship with Him is much like my emotional relationship with my husband. I’ve had to learn to converse with Him and be transparent.
Therapy and Jesus have gone hand in hand for me. Of all my companion choices, these two have been the most important.
Facing my dragons pre-cancer was vital. Because we all face the trauma of our past, or the trauma we’re currently living, I strongly recommend a good therapist to almost everyone I know.
Can You Choose Your Own Adventure?
Do you remember those choose your own adventure books from childhood, where you could choose each step of the way, including the ending? Does life really work that way? Yes and no.
This is so tricky. We can all make choices. We all do, but often aren’t aware that we do. Who we listen to, staying in toxic relationships, choosing healthy relationships - all are choices. Ultimately choosing good companions makes all the difference.
I know what my final outcome will be. Most likely this cancer will be the death of me. I’ve made a ton of choices, good and bad, in the last six years. They’ve changed my adventure at every turn. So yes, I believe we can choose our adventures to some degree. But not usually ultimately.
Matthew 5:45 says:
So that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
This is just truth. Coming back to my focus, I’m finding that the companions I choose make all the difference in how I face the sun and rain, how I face trouble. Therapy and Jesus help me choose better companions. They ARE better companions.
Whom Have You Chosen?
You’re facing your own adventure, your own hardship. Maybe you’re beginning, or in the middle of, the toughest thing you’ve ever faced. Who are your companions? Who can you truly trust?
I can’t choose your spouse or your friends. I can’t see the red flags for you. Maybe you can choose one safe person who can help see the red flags, who can be honest with you. And maybe listening to them will be difficult. But I think you can do it.
If need be, and I think this is a need for most people, choose therapy and Jesus. Be prepared for your adventure. Joy awaits us. Sometimes it’s buried deep in the pain and terror. But it’s there.
Until I write again …
Flea