Turning Trauma into Triumph
When I heard about Joyopolis a few months ago, I thought this new venture sounded perfect for our current times. I was excited for the opportunity to write about joy. After all, don’t we all need a little more of that? Then I actually had to write about joy when I wasn’t feeling any of that.
My topic? How a joyful person turns trauma to triumph. Haven’t felt a lot of joy lately in the midst of shutdowns, quarantines, and Facebook fighting.
So I did what God always reminds His people to do—I remember. God knew that in the midst of hardship, His people would forget what He’d done for them in the past, so he asked them to recall His faithfulness.
I took a look back at all He’s done for me. I figured if I could be joyful while fighting cancer, I could be joyful during a pandemic.
My second problem in tackling this writing subject was “trauma.” I haven’t had a terribly traumatic life. Surely others are more qualified to write about trauma.
Yet one definition I found of trauma is “an emotional upset.” Who hasn’t had one of those?
And if 2020 taught us one truth, it’s that daily life is filled with trauma. It met us every hour as we watched the news, clicked on headlines, heard the latest from our friends on Facebook and Zoom.
Trauma became more personal than ever, but it also made us numb to its effects. Inundated with accounts of terrible stories, we learned to let them roll off our backs. It’s too hard to internalize so much suffering.
“The problem with numbness is that our emotions don’t actually disappear; they simmer underneath the surface and emerge in another way.”
The problem with numbness is that our emotions don’t actually disappear; they simmer underneath the surface and emerge in another way.
Maybe we lash out at someone we love for some insignificant or nonexistent offense. Maybe we crawl into a depressive slump or lose our joy to mounting frustration. Then we allow trauma to have a lasting influence on our lives, our sense of value.
In seventh grade I had a traumatic experience—traumatic for seventh grade at least—that magnified the typical junior-high insecurity.
Before that time I enjoyed being with my friends and assumed people enjoyed being with me. I was a happy kid who danced and sang to my favorite songs. So I didn’t know what to do with this shock to my system.
I turned from extrovert to introvert almost overnight. I was scared to talk to anyone and sure no one wanted to talk to me. Even a move to another state didn’t change anything, just created a new group of people—high school—to feel insecure around.
After a lot of years, my true self reemerged as I rediscovered and followed the passions that brought me joy. Yet the insecurity stemming from that traumatic memory can still rear its head decades later, especially at high school reunions!
My seventh-grade trauma is nothing compared to the grand scheme of life, and I did face more traumatic experiences later.
No one is immune, no matter what the cause of our personal trauma. If we walk through a valley, it’s dark, and dark is dark no matter what caused the valley.
“If we walk through a valley, it’s dark, and dark is dark no matter what caused the valley. So how do we get out of the dark?”
So how do we get out of the dark? Can joy help us bring triumph from trauma? Yes, it can.
Even though it seems contradictory, joy is the key even when we may feel the least amount of joy.
So how do we use true joy to turn trauma into triumph?
1. Redefine Joy
The first step in bringing triumph out of trauma is to remember what joy is. It’s not feeling happy. It’s not having a good day, or whatever measure we want to put on it based on our current emotions.
Joy is not based on what’s happening but on who we are and who we know. God reminds us that we are His. That’s the great news! We don’t have to manufacture joy on our own. We can access that joy no matter what’s happening to us or around us.
I even found my joy in the midst of four years fighting cancer, and that turned a difficult trauma into triumph over both the disease and the everyday battle to move toward hope.
2. Rediscover Your Passions
During my cancer fight, I turned often to what brought me joy—music, books, travel, good food (when I could eat!), and even work. I planned weekend getaways, attended live music events, sang on the worship team at church, listened to my favorite artists, read my favorite authors.
Following my passions took my mind off the trauma and allowed me to remember who I was and how I was created with unique gifts and affinities.
Joy found in my valley, triumphed over whatever trauma I faced that day.
“Joy found in my valley, triumphed over whatever trauma I faced that day.”
What do you love? Even if you find it hard to turn to when facing a crisis, seek out your passion. Listen to a song, watch a favorite movie, take a hike in nature, do what you were created to do.
Joy comes, triumph follows.
3. Enjoy Your Daily Journey
One of the worst effects of trauma is the “lack of normal.”
We lose the security of the everyday. Nothing feels right.
Our normal is comfortable, so when life busts our routines, we are on shaky ground.
The answer is to appreciate as much normal as possible, even if it means establishing a new normal for a time.
Rediscover the sights on your drive to work or school. Take a fresh look at the morning and evening skies. Look into the faces of people you love. Play a game. Cook a meal.
Take back what routines you can and find the joy in that daily journey. This keeps your mind on the present and not the fear of the future.
4. Face the Facts Head-on
Ignoring a crisis won’t get you anywhere. Whatever trauma you face, deal with it, don’t deny it.
Sometimes that means research and resources. After my first and second cancer diagnoses, I focused my energy on learning all I could about my disease, the treatments, the doctors, the insurance. Knowledge was my weapon to fight this trauma head-on and overcome the fear of the unknown.
Trauma brings out our greatest fear—not knowing what is on the horizon. When you arm yourself with knowledge and resources, you negate that fear and move ahead with confidence.
At other times, facing facts means dealing with the relationships that caused the trauma. Determine who you need to confront, who you need to remove from your life, or who you need to forgive.
Holding on to bitterness, anger, and frustration only deepens the trauma and keeps you from moving forward in triumph.
You may not feel you can face facts. Remember, if the joy of the Lord is our strength, as scripture tells us, then we only need to access our true joy in God and let Him give us the strength to fight forward.
5. Renew Relationships
No one can triumph over trauma alone. Difficult times are when we need others the most.
During some intense months of treatment, I did not have family in town, but I had a close friend who organized my Bible study girlfriends into support teams. They brought food, made airport runs to pick up family members, mowed my grass, watched my dog, accompanied me on walks. I never would have made it without them. The visits and prayers of my immediate and extended family were my lifeline, keeping me grounded.
My relationship with God expanded to a place I’d never experienced prior to cancer. Deep calls unto deep, the Bible says. When we’re in deep water, His love always goes deeper. He never leaves us alone.
The joy from our relationships brings triumph over the trauma. And the closer our relationships grow as a result of joining together in support, the deeper the joy.
Who do you love? Who have you lifted or encouraged through a battle? Who surrounds you? Who loves you?
Our relationships to others and to God bring meaning and joy to our lives, so don’t push them aside during your suffering.
Draw closer to those people—and to God—and allow them to lift you, support you, encourage you, help you.
6. Laugh!
True laughter doesn’t come from happiness, but from deeper joy. Learn to laugh at even the absurdities of trauma.
I lost my hair to cancer treatments three times (trauma inside a trauma, and this was before it was cool to be a bald women).
After the initial shock, I discovered the funny and joy in that experience. I had some wigs I gave crazy names—Loretta had long, curly locks. I discovered the joy of wearing hats. I had fun shocking people when I suddenly whisked off my wig.
All to say, life is funny. Even trauma has its funny side. Find it and relish the laughter.
The Bible says we’re supposed to “rejoice always.” That means in every circumstance. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, rejoice not only means “to feel joy and great delight” but also “to give joy.”
When joyful people turn trauma into triumph, they also spread that joy to others around them.
What trauma do you face today? Which of these steps can you take in joy to turn that crisis into triumph?