My Cup Runs Over
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups—porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal—some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite. As he passed by each student, he told them to help themselves to the coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said, “If you noticed, all the nice looking and expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. It’s normal for you to want only the best for yourselves.” Then the wise old professor smiled and added, “That is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the best cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. And what all of you really wanted was the coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups. Then as you sipped your coffee you began eyeing each other’s cups.”
He sat down among the students and lifted one of the old plastic cups as he continued, “Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and positions in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the kind of cup you have does not define, nor change, the quality of the life you live. Sometimes by concentrating only on the cup you fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided you.”
I find I am often guilty of focusing on my cup instead of my coffee. Additionally, I catch myself comparing my cup to others’… and then I learn that what the Bible says is true: “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” (Proverbs 14:30) Jealousy begins with comparison, and indeed it eventually turns us green and produces a rotten attitude. As the verse in Proverbs says, the opposite of a rotting heart is a tranquil heart. So how do we get there? How do we stop the comparison game? How do we find tranquility?
The wise professor had the right idea. We focus on what we do have and we verbally express joy. Now, I’m not saying we all must gush with emotion. If that is you, then go for it! But for the rest of us, that simply means using power words. A power word is an expression of gratitude. When someone asks how my day is going, I always respond with a power word such as great, terrific, wonderful, or amazing. It stops people in their tracks because that is not the normal response they get. Often, we offer a litany of why our day is not going well. But it is amazing how much better my day goes after I declare it to be wonderful.
My father used to say when asked about his day, “I’m alive and that’s better than the alternative.” You may be thinking, Well, that is very Pollyanna. Do you remember the movie? The 1960 Disney classic starred Hayley Mills as an orphan who brings sunshine into the lives of everyone she meets. But her aunt doesn’t appreciate her effervescent niece, and it isn’t until she almost loses her that the aunt realizes the true power of love and lightheartedness. In one memorable scene Pollyanna asked for a doll for Christmas. When she received a pair of crutches instead, she decided she would simply be grateful she didn’t need them. So, make a game of it. See how many unwanted gifts in life can you turn around. How many people you can make stop in their tracks by a power word. How many whispers of gratitude can you offer in a day? And before you know it joy will overflow, and you won’t even notice your cup is cracked and tarnished because the coffee tastes sooo good.
What ways have you found to help you stay focused on your coffee and not the cup?
How do you stop playing the comparison game?